Frankie Muniz Carrier of Rare Disease

Frankie Muniz at age 29

Doctors have discovered the opposite of the debilitating disease "Progreria" which makes an individual start to age from infancy. Doctors are calling it "Frankie Muniz Disease" after the child star, Frankie Muniz. Doctor Symbian Belle of Cambridge said "We thought it was fitting to name the disease after Mr. Muniz since some people doubt he will ever age".

Mickey Mouse Shot in Rhode Island Airport

May 9, 2012-Written by Tlaw Yensid

Mickey Mouse was shot and arrested yesterday evening after trying to smuggle gun parts past airport security in Rhode Island.

Mickey was not alone. He was accompanied by two other accomplices: a teddy bear known as "Boris Bad Bear" (a.k.a. B.B.B.), and Mickey's older brother Oswald the Rabbit. Mickey was found carrying a firing pin. Waldo had two .40 caliber magazines and B.B.B had the rest of the parts. They were caught, one after the other, pulling the different components of the gun out of their over sized animated shoes. They attempted to assemble the gun in time to shoot the airport security staff before approaching the metal detectors.

Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale Hated the Avengers

May 11th, 2012-  Written by Muslim Bale

The Avengers opened this past weekend to rave reviews and broke box office records when it raked in $207.1 million. Fans and critics alike have praised the execution of this heavily anticipated film. Roger Ebert even stated in his review "The Avengers has done for me what medication couldn't and now my love life is back on track. Yeah, it was that good and yeah, I am that old." 

However, despite it's critical acclaim there remains at least two individuals who are not impressed. Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale saw The Avengers together opening night and were quite upset.

Microsoft's New Xbox Deal Takes Advantage of Idiots

May 10th, 2012- Written by Tron

D.M.V's worst nightmare.

If it's been your deep-seated desire to look like an idiot in front of your TV, while simultaneously flailing your limbs around in attempt to make a virtual version of yourself kick a virtual soccer ball, than you are in luck. The new Xbox 360 Kinect Bundle will now be sold for a mere $99 along with 24 easy payments of $15.

Microsoft has decided to imitate major phone companies by selling the Xbox 360 for $99 up front, and then requiring the customer to sign up for a 2 year contract costing $15 a month. Our mathematician, Adam Mup,  busted out and dusted off his eighth grade calculator to calculate how much money Microsoft will be grabbing from people who take this deal.

Missing Plane Still Taking on Passengers

Russian Passenger Plane
unaware of what a bad day its about to have.

May 10th, 2012 - Written by Jack Locke

A new Russian-made passenger plane went missing over mountains in western Indonesia while on a demonstration flight for potential buyers. What is more mysterious than the sudden disappearance of this plane is that the passenger count on board continues to rise. 

The Irish Times in their initial report stated that there were 44 passengers on the plane when it vanished. The Herald Sun reported this:

Scientist Discover That Sci-Fi Movies Are Right

Biologists have confirmed finding life on Mars.

Recently, old sets of data from an earlier mission to the planet Mars were reviewed. The biologists studying the data revealed early Wednesday morning that they have indeed confirmed the existence of life on Mars as a result of the revisitation of this data. The interesting part about this, is that it confirms a theory that science fiction movies and TV shows have been trying to support for many years...

Mr.Owl Dies at Age of 72

May 4, 2012- Written By James Cluber

Mr. Owl (most commonly known for his role in Tootsie Pop commercials and..... thats about it) died today at the age of 72. 

Mr. Owl, whose real name is Shabash Owlsomus III, started his career as an entertainer at the age of 30. His first job was on the first Tootsie Pop commercial that aired back in 1970 where a naked boy walked around the forest talking to animals about a sucker. Owlsomus was orginally casted as the second animal that the boy approached in the forest. However, an incident that happened off set led to him recieving the role which he has become famous for today.

New Law Makes Certain Acronyms Illegal

Senator Gerald Ford (R) of Utah passed a law yesterday that makes use of the popular acronym LOL illegal if used incorrectly. He explains the reason he signed off on the law in an interview with the AP "Basically, I'm really tired of getting textual transmissions (text messages) from my daughters that say 'LOL' when I know that they aren't really laughing. It's misleading".

Obama's Actual Birth Place Stirs Controversy

Many remember when Barack Obama's birthplace was called into question. Donald Trump, the real estate tycoon, famously asked to see President Obama's birth certificate as proof that he was born within the borders of the 50 States, and thus, legally able to become the . The truth about Obama's birthplace will shock all but the most savvy observers.

Mythbusters Myth Busted

Friday May 4th, 2012
The somehow popular Discovery Channel , Mythbusters, may have it's own myth busted. A recent completely unnecessary poll was conducted. 20,000 people who identified themselves as "avid TV watchers" participated...

A Look Back at a Productive Presidency

Written by Jane Doeadeer- Thursday May 3rd, 2012

"I told you I could aim a gun at the president
and not get tackled!"

With election time coming up many have their minds set on who they want to choose as the next president of the United States. We here at Fayke Nooz couldn't care less, but we figure we can use this time to reflect on the president of the united states productivity this past term. Take a look at  these photos of the President's greatest moments...

Study Shows All "Morning People" Addicted to Drugs

An article was published this week in the American Journal of Medicine which studied the causes of the "unrelenting chipper attitude" that some individuals display so annoyingly. The study shows that most of these individuals are known by themselves or their peers as a "morning person".

Dr. Alia Shawkat says "We all really hate the chronic morning person that sits at the desk next to us. I mean, who in their right mind is happy in the morning. It just doesn't make sense". She adds "the morning is absolutely the worst time of the day. It's the time of the day when you look ahead and realize there's all these things that you need to accomplish, and you don't really want to. This feeling is debilitating for 99% of people"...

"K" is Officially Considered a Complete Sentence

Tuesday May 1st, 2012

Remember when you were taught as a child that Pluto was a planet? Remember when you were told it wasn't? Well, now, another blow to your elementary school education has occurred...

North Korea says, "stop making fun of our missiles!"

You can't tell me you wont see this coming in the sky?

Written by Ware Waldo -May 2, 2012

North Korea has released a statement today demanding that people, "stop making fun of our missiles! We have read the different comments posted on the Internet such as 'Look at those weapons of bad construction.' We told you before that we can annihilate you all in 4 minutes, well, now we will do it in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. Keep talking and we will shave off those 45 seconds!"

New Political Party On The Rise

Although the current election will most likely be between a Republican and a Democrat, a new political party is on the rise for the next election cycle. They're calling themselves "Republicats"

Jim Morrison, the leader of the movement said this "We believe that all Americans are getting really tired of the constant bickering between the two existing parties. Then there's all these sectarian factions within these parties. It's all getting too confusing. What Americans need is a simple political path. That's why we mixed the two existing parties into one called, The Republicats"

Rainn Wilson Discusses Office Spin-off

Written by Ybnet Tirw
Tuesday May 1st, 2012

Exclusive: A new show called The Farm, a spin-off from the hit TV show The Office, will be coming in 2013. The show will star Rainn Wilson continuing his role as Dwight Schrute. The focus of the sitcom will be on his daily life on a beet farm that he owns with his slightly retarded brother named Mose.

Colorado Bear Attempts Public Suicide

Monday April 30th, 2012
Written by Ryan Pumper Nickle

In Boulder Colorado on April 25th , a teenage brown bear attempted to take his own life by jumping from a tree near a college campus. The story is as follows.

"Ro-oh"

At approximately 12:35 pm Icesis Awsum, a student from the University of Colorado, took her lunch break off campus. She walked to her usual spot (a tree where Icesis and her boyfriend first played patty cake) to eat her bologna and cheese Lunchable. Taking a seat beneath the tree and sipping her Capri Sun pouch drink, she couldn't help but to notice an odd amount of leaves falling from the branches above her head. Out of curiosity she looked up and was shocked to see what appeared to be a brown bear high up in the tree. Icesis' first thought was to run for her life, but she says, "I just couldn't".

Study Reveals Women Don't Understand Either

Saturday April 28th, 2012


A recent study conducted by professor of sociology, James Hendrix, revealed a shocking truth with regards to a well accepted myth, namely, that men don't understand women. "The part of the myth that men don't understand, is so far unconfirmed, but this myth that men don't understand implies that all women do. That's the part that we want to debunk".

Hendrix goes on to explain the reasons for focusing on this part of the myth when he says "as men, we need to prove that we're right about things. That's why we did this study. We wanted to prove to women that they actually don't make sense. To anybody! We wanted to prove that they don't just confuse men because men are stupid, as they imply, but rather that they confuse men and women alike, simply because the things they say and do, don't make sense to anybody."

Study Finds Clues To Mysterious Microwave Events

Thursday April 24th, 2012

The Professor carrying out his
microwave study

Today, an article published in the Sorta Scientifical American was published. It discusses some theories to strange events that everyone has undoubtedly noticed.
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth (most famous for his appearance on Matt Groening's Futurama) notes "Every single person in the universe has used a microwave. Why doesn't anyone talk about the strange events that occur inside them".

New Star Wars Movie on the Horizon?

Saturday April 21st, 2012

George Lucas Poses in front of
Star Wars character puppet 

George Lucas recently announced this past Friday that he would like to get started on another Star Wars film, this time focusing on the origin of the Jedi council as seen in Episode 1. Lucas said that “I would like to have the story revolve around Yoda who, as a youth, was far from the wise Jedi that has been depicted in the previous films. In fact he was quite a rebel.” Lucas, in explaining the reason for his choice of centering the story around our green protagonist, said, “Yoda is a very beloved character in the series and has a much deeper connection with the Skywalker family then just that of Anakin and Luke. This connection will change everything you thought you knew about the Skywalker lineage and I'm sure it will surprise many. The back story that was originally written for Yoda and the other members of the Jedi Council is brilliant. I feel like modern technology has finally caught up to my vision, and that now would be a great time to bring the story to the big screen.”

Lucas, when asked what all would be revealed about Yoda and the Skywalker lineage stated “ I would like to reveal some of the biggest mysteries about Yoda and the other Jedi. I don't want to reveal too much, but things such as why Yoda talks the way he does and uses a walking stick when he clearly doesn't need it i would like to have explained. As well as how Mace Windu overcame intergalactic racial barriers by becoming the first black Jedi. These are just a few of the many things to look forward to learning in the new film which will be a prequel to the prequels."

Finally Lucas revealed that the name of the film would be appropriately titled Star Wars the Council Begins. He also hinted at possible sequels to this film. "The names", he says, "are not set in stone as of yet, but  I would like to follow the example of actual good directors and name the sequels either "Star Wars the Dark Jedi" and "the Dark Jedi Rises", or go the simple route and name it "Star Wars Avatar" and "STA2".

So what do you think? Are you excited to hear that George will be bringing Star Wars back to the big screen? Do you like the idea of the attention being centered on a more rebellious Yoda? What about finding out how Mace Windu overcame Racism? How about those movie names, pretty original right? Let us know what you think in the comments below.