North Korea says, "stop making fun of our missiles!"

You can't tell me you wont see this coming in the sky?

Written by Ware Waldo -May 2, 2012

North Korea has released a statement today demanding that people, "stop making fun of our missiles! We have read the different comments posted on the Internet such as 'Look at those weapons of bad construction.' We told you before that we can annihilate you all in 4 minutes, well, now we will do it in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. Keep talking and we will shave off those 45 seconds!"


This statement was made soon after analyst's reports circulated throughout the Internet about North Korea's missiles being fake. What was supposed to be a showy display of North Korea's military prowess on April 15, wound up being nothing more than a parade with floats disguised as missiles instead of Charlie Brown and Snoopy. One analyst stated, "I get paid a whole lot of money to be able to identify stuff in photos. In fact I almost always find Waldo in those Where's Waldo books. So trust me when I say that these missiles are nothing more than props."

The analyst expounds on how we can be sure they are fake. " 1.) The missiles are painted funny. First off, why would someone waste time painting a missile that is just going to blow up anyway? Besides if I had real missiles that I wanted to paint and have people be afraid of, I would paint them black or draw a shark mouth on them or something. These missiles, however, are the color of jungle camouflage. I mean come on! They plan on firing these things through the sky right? If these were being shot through a forest then, yeah, totally these colors make sense. But last time I checked, the sky is blue. So this color scheme doesn't make sense if they want to destroy people discreetly. 2.) They appear to made with both liquid fuel and solid fuel components that are unable to fly together. If you look closely at any photo of the missiles and then activate your x-ray vision you too can easily discern this. 3.) These missiles can't possibly be real because if they are then we are in serious trouble. So this is simply a case of mind over matter. If we all firmly say they are fake then they will be fake. So start saying it!"

Dog and Pony pictured here together

The ridicule continues as some have stated that North Korea's little stunt is nothing more than a "dog and pony show." To which North Korea responded by saying, "What does that even mean? Since when did dogs and ponies start performing together?"

Whether these missiles are real or not has yet to be seen. Sadly we won't know for sure until they come hurtling toward us badly camouflaged in the sky. Thankfully since 1998 North Korea has shot off four other missiles all failing to make an "impact." So with a track record like that we can feel just a little bit more cocky about our safety.