New Political Party On The Rise

Although the current election will most likely be between a Republican and a Democrat, a new political party is on the rise for the next election cycle. They're calling themselves "Republicats"

Jim Morrison, the leader of the movement said this "We believe that all Americans are getting really tired of the constant bickering between the two existing parties. Then there's all these sectarian factions within these parties. It's all getting too confusing. What Americans need is a simple political path. That's why we mixed the two existing parties into one called, The Republicats"


Speaking with other members of this new political party has proved interesting. They will definitely be considered the "cool" political party. The celebrity spokesperson for the Republicats, Tom Cruise had this to say "The good news is, we're finally gonna make politics cool. That's part of the way that the Repulicats got our name. You know? Cats? As in 'You're one cool cat!'".

Members of the Republics seen visibly
snapping their fingers out of "coolness"

Tom Cruise said that the members of this political party, and any that they vote into office will certainly "Flip those coins like they did in the 40s" and "snap their fingers like the members of the Sharks and the Jets like in that movie The West something something". Other sources tell us that it's a requirement that members of the party frequently listen to Frank Sinatra and quote Casa Blanca amount other highly regarded movies that play on the TCM network.

When asked what their political viewpoints would be Jim Morrison said "Our viewpoints don't matter. Anyone who pays attention to politics at all knows it's about money and charm. And there's nothing more charming than an old fashioned Cary Grant type guy".

He was unable to answer any questions about current political matters including foreign policy, immigration, or the economy based on his desires to imitate current successful political leaders in "not actually doing anything about any of our problems".