Jennifer Garner is Worried!

Star of Juno and Zoya Has a Major Concern

  There are numerous celebrities who will respond quickly to an injustice or lead the way in some humanitarian effort.  Some notable celebrities among these include Angelina Jolie with her many adoptions and Ed Begley Jr's wood powered chainsaw.  However, one celebrity stands out above the rest.  Her concern could be noted as the highest atrocity known to the western world today.  But what has this second-rate film star and third-rate mother so distressed and why does it seem most people are not sharing her concern?

 Jennifer Garner, Showing Sincere Concern

  In a recent poll taken by the independent website askalottapeople.org, 9 out of 10 people asked to take a poll would refuse to do so simply because of apathy.  When asked why they were not interested in taking polls the people had walked too far away to get an audible response. The poll has a margin of error of a certain percentage.

   Psychologist, and sudoku champion, Dr. Herman Schlotzsky would not give us the time of day to answer any of our questions so we asked a 5-year-old nearby how he felt about the matter.  After finally getting him to calm down and stop hopping in place, he informed us how he could "Run really, really fast" when provoked and how he once watched 4 episodes of the hit Nickelodeon children's television program Yo Gabba Gabba! in one sitting.

Perabo, Also Concerned

  Jenni's not alone though.  Garner's call to action has gotten the attention of another C+-list celebrity and magician's assistant, Piper Perabo.  Both Garner and Perabo are sharing concern from a distance while not actively assisting or even acknowledging that there is a  problem.  But if there is no problem then why are both looking like someone just told them that they "don't want to live anymore"?  Why won't either step up and take action for whatever atrocity has been committed?  And why didn't Jason Bateman just tell his wife that he didn't want to have a kid in the first place in Juno?  Only time may tell.