Green Found to Be the Least Environmentally Friendly Color

Wednesday April 25th, 2012


An interview with the color green last week brings many to a confusing conclusion.

Earth here pictured "going green". Contrary to popular belief,
the earth should not be this color.

Lisa Jackson, head of the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) was disheartened by the way the color green answered questions in the interview. She said "Green has been the color we've gone to for many years when we're looking for a representation of our effort to be friendly to the Earth". She goes on to say "I've talked to the other colors - Purple, Pink, Red, and even Orange, - and they all seem to be more concerned with the Environment than the color green".

Here's a portion of the interview:


Interviewer Piers Morgan - "Green. For a long time now we've used you as the...Mascot for environmental sustainability. How do you feel about the way your name is splattered all of everything that's considered to be friendly to the environment?"


The Color Green - 


Piers Morgan - "Apparently you're sensitive about this, Green. I need answers from you. The world awaits you..."


Green - 


Piers Morgan - "The other wavelengths, they would kill for the privilege you have. That of protecting earth. What do you have to say about this?"


Green - 

Green pictured here with parents
in the visible spectrum

Piers Morgan - "You knew what you were getting into when you decided that trees and grass would be your wavelength spectrum didn't you? I'm afraid your name will always be synonymous with the health of the environment. Speak up."


Green - 

Calls to the color green were not immediately returned.
Blue and Yellow, chemical parents of Green in the visible spectrum also declined to comment on the interview.