Astrophysicist Admits All Theoretical Physics Claims Are Bogus

Saturday April 21st, 2012
Astrophysicist, Ringo McCartney, released a paper to the scientific community in which he proves mathematically that all other math problems used to explain things like Einstein's Theory of General Relativity are actually bogus.

Most of the paper was gibberish to normal humans, and Ringo McCartney uses this fact to validate his claims when he says "Look. Most people can't do this "math" that we do to support theories like General Relativity and Super String Theory, so who can really even argue with all this crap". He goes on to say "Two galaxies times two galaxies equals four galaxies. Therefore I have mathematically proven that there have to be at least four galaxies in the universe".

George Martin, professor of Theoretical Physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology referred to this paper when he said "the only thing Dr. McCartney proved when he wrote this paper is that he's an idiot. Every astrophysicist knows multiplication doesn't work in space. We use space multiplication which is much more complicated". Martin went on to explain that "Theoretical physics is not about taking information we already have, hypothesizing on the data, and then testing out that hypothesis for months or even years to confirm it. What real theoretical physicists do is more like shooting an arrow at an empty wall, and then drawing a bullseye around the area where it lands. We usually like to make that bullseye really small so that it looks all the more impressive to people who don't understand our methods". He then went on to refer to himself as a "Space Magician".

Stephen Hawking at age 20

We held a brief interview with Stephen Hawking (the guy with that cool robot voice thingy) who said the "world would be a better place if we used half the time we spend on making stuff up to work out real problems rather than all this hypothetical mumbo jumbo. Mumbo jumbo is a funny word when you say it thru this thing. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha". He added that "all we really do, as Theoretical Physicists, is make stuff up. Then people go on arguing about it long after we're dead".

For more information on theoretical physics visit: http://www.2-3-5-7-11-13-17-19-23.3.14159265-doesanyofthismatter.C:/user/desktop/mydocuments/theoriesandstuff.slash/hyphen-dash.dotcom.com