Oprah Devastated by Huge Oversight

Oprah Devastated about Time's oversight

By Benjamin Zipper-Sat, Apr 21,2012



Oprah Winfrey, since the very conception of the list, has been on Time's Top 100 Most Influential people in the World. This year however, “there has been a major oversight” says Oprah. Quoting the Principal from Ferris Buellers Day Off Oprah complained to herself in the mirror, “Nine Times, Nine times, NINE TIMES I have made the list! I am the same person I was nine years ago and I look the same too so what were they thinking.”

Oprah's reaction to someone
ironically giving something to her
"for a change"

Why this oversight? Time Magazine stated that “Oprah is a wonderful woman and is certainly still influential to women who are wishing to look like they are 90 trying to be 40 when they are 52. However that is not enough anymore especially with people like Tim Tebow inspiring both young and old alike to pose with knee to ground, elbow to knee and fist to head in nearly every party photo.”


When asked for a more polite reason for the removing of Oprah from the list, they shrugged and said “can't think of one.”


Oprah as of last year ended her critically acclaimed daytime show and sabotaged OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) by first giving Rosie O'Donnell a show on her station and then pulling the plug on the show as soon as she realized what she had done. This lead to Rosie O'Donnell's placing a curse on Oprah that her name would become as synonymous with vomiting as that of her own name. This seems to be working as the ratings for the OWN plummet faster than America's economy.


With Oprah out of the race for the record of "Most Times Noted by Time as Most Influential People of the Time" in Time Magazine; the runners up for this rare and commonly overlooked section in the Guinness Book of World Records is left to Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. Both have been listed seven times in Time Magazine. When asked how they feel about Oprah being removed from the list and their chance to beat her record they both looked at each other, shrugged and said, “we don't care as long as Mitt Romney doesn't win.” They then gave each other a fist bump which caused the first lady to become jealous.