Frankie Muniz Carrier of Rare Disease

Frankie Muniz at age 29

Doctors have discovered the opposite of the debilitating disease "Progreria" which makes an individual start to age from infancy. Doctors are calling it "Frankie Muniz Disease" after the child star, Frankie Muniz. Doctor Symbian Belle of Cambridge said "We thought it was fitting to name the disease after Mr. Muniz since some people doubt he will ever age".

Canned Laughter Banned From New Sitcoms

Breaking news:
Another one of Mom's expensive, irreplaceable vases have been broken.


In other news, after many years of protests, canned laughter has now been banned from use on all future sitcoms.

The group leading the protests since The Hank McCune Show first used the gimmick in the 1950s is the VACLFMR (Viewers against canned laughter for moral reasons)...

A Look Back at a Productive Presidency

Written by Jane Doeadeer- Thursday May 3rd, 2012

"I told you I could aim a gun at the president
and not get tackled!"

With election time coming up many have their minds set on who they want to choose as the next president of the United States. We here at Fayke Nooz couldn't care less, but we figure we can use this time to reflect on the president of the united states productivity this past term. Take a look at  these photos of the President's greatest moments...

North Korea says, "stop making fun of our missiles!"

You can't tell me you wont see this coming in the sky?

Written by Ware Waldo -May 2, 2012

North Korea has released a statement today demanding that people, "stop making fun of our missiles! We have read the different comments posted on the Internet such as 'Look at those weapons of bad construction.' We told you before that we can annihilate you all in 4 minutes, well, now we will do it in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. Keep talking and we will shave off those 45 seconds!"

Circle Brushing Technique Not Most Effective Method

Jerry Seinfeld is an active
Minister in the Anti-Dentite Church

Friday April 27th, 2012

Jerry Seinfeld (anti-dentite) was taken to a dental hospital near his home in the Hamptons last month after a near fatal incident, which Seinfeld claims was caused by circular brushing techniques. Fans of Seinfeld and the public alike were enraged by the incident and many riots broke out in recent weeks.
Mr. Seinfeld expressed that "35 years ago, when I was just a boy, I just felt deep down inside of me that something was wrong with brushing. And that's why I replaced my teeth with horse teeth."

Man Wakes from 30 Year Coma and Asks to be Put Back to Sleep

Friday April 27th, 2012


David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma.
Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake.

Some people still believe
that this is a boy

Lindersnout was visited by his younger brother (who was born after Lindersnout went into the coma) and several young sisters and cousins. After 2 hours of visiting, the visiting hours were over and the family was asked to return the next day. Mr. Lindersnout complained to the nurse "Why are all those girls so obsessed with this Justin Beaver girl? And since when are girls named Justin?" (Lindersnout was referring to Justin Bieber, pictured to the left). Lindersnout then reportedly asked for the TV remote and some privacy.

Oprah Devastated by Huge Oversight

Oprah Devastated about Time's oversight

By Benjamin Zipper-Sat, Apr 21,2012



Oprah Winfrey, since the very conception of the list, has been on Time's Top 100 Most Influential people in the World. This year however, “there has been a major oversight” says Oprah. Quoting the Principal from Ferris Buellers Day Off Oprah complained to herself in the mirror, “Nine Times, Nine times, NINE TIMES I have made the list! I am the same person I was nine years ago and I look the same too so what were they thinking.”

Oprah's reaction to someone
ironically giving something to her
"for a change"

Why this oversight? Time Magazine stated that “Oprah is a wonderful woman and is certainly still influential to women who are wishing to look like they are 90 trying to be 40 when they are 52. However that is not enough anymore especially with people like Tim Tebow inspiring both young and old alike to pose with knee to ground, elbow to knee and fist to head in nearly every party photo.”


When asked for a more polite reason for the removing of Oprah from the list, they shrugged and said “can't think of one.”


Oprah as of last year ended her critically acclaimed daytime show and sabotaged OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) by first giving Rosie O'Donnell a show on her station and then pulling the plug on the show as soon as she realized what she had done. This lead to Rosie O'Donnell's placing a curse on Oprah that her name would become as synonymous with vomiting as that of her own name. This seems to be working as the ratings for the OWN plummet faster than America's economy.


With Oprah out of the race for the record of "Most Times Noted by Time as Most Influential People of the Time" in Time Magazine; the runners up for this rare and commonly overlooked section in the Guinness Book of World Records is left to Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. Both have been listed seven times in Time Magazine. When asked how they feel about Oprah being removed from the list and their chance to beat her record they both looked at each other, shrugged and said, “we don't care as long as Mitt Romney doesn't win.” They then gave each other a fist bump which caused the first lady to become jealous.