Another one of Mom's expensive, irreplaceable vases have been broken.
In other news, after many years of protests, canned laughter has now been banned from use on all future sitcoms.
The group leading the protests since The Hank McCune Show first used the gimmick in the 1950s is the VACLFMR (Viewers against canned laughter for moral reasons)...Their argument since the 1950s has been the same. Namely, "We the people of America are not as stupid as you think". They continued in an often published statement "The media is trying to control the American people. They are even trying to tell us when to laugh for crying out loud. How stupid do they think we are that we need to be told when to laugh and how hard and for how long?"
We spoke with the only surviving member of The Hank McCune Show's staff, who spoke to us on terms of anonymity about the then controversial use of canned laughter. He/she stated "I really don't think it's a big deal. We just kinda wanted people to feel that others enjoyed the moment as well. Laughing is a social experience I think. Right?" He/she then laughed awkwardly as we continued staring at him/her stone-faced.
We spoke with the leader of VACLFMR about the interview. They responded by saying "That's ridiculous. The media tells us when to turn on our TV, what shows to watch, when to laugh, what products to buy, who to vote for, what's next? Are they going to tell us to stop being angry about stupid stuff too? Well we're not gonna take it! I have a right to laugh at something when it's not funny, and not laugh at something that isn't funny gosh darn it! And I'm gonna be angry about things unnecessarily for the rest of my life!" We then had to exit the building because a 3 year old walked in with a bomb strapped to his chest crying "my Mommy made me do it. My Mommy made me do it". The entire group of protestors from VACLFMR found this hilarious and laughed historically as the child jumped from the top of the 30 story building and detonated himself, destroying the building and killing 14 others that were still inside.
The battle was not entirely won for VACLFMR as the broadcasting companies replaced the canned laughter with a monotone Stephen Hawking style voice that will say "You may laugh if you deem it appropriate". During trial runs of this new technology, a group of protestors formed out of the pilot group saying that the message was sexist since the voice sounded to be a male robot vs. a female or transgender robot. The original voice is reportedly being replaced by "Pat, the multi-gendered, multicultural, multi-religious anti-theistic, darwinistic, helio-geo-centric, flat earth society spherical earth faction, ultra rightwing, superlefty, anti political, ultra unidentifiable robot type object". The robot had to be designed without any opinions on anything, so it literally had to be created by itself in order for it to be completely without bias.
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