Mickey Mouse Shot in Rhode Island Airport

May 9, 2012-Written by Tlaw Yensid

Mickey Mouse was shot and arrested yesterday evening after trying to smuggle gun parts past airport security in Rhode Island.

Mickey was not alone. He was accompanied by two other accomplices: a teddy bear known as "Boris Bad Bear" (a.k.a. B.B.B.), and Mickey's older brother Oswald the Rabbit. Mickey was found carrying a firing pin. Waldo had two .40 caliber magazines and B.B.B had the rest of the parts. They were caught, one after the other, pulling the different components of the gun out of their over sized animated shoes. They attempted to assemble the gun in time to shoot the airport security staff before approaching the metal detectors.



Oswald and Mickey on a lemon

"We figured if we could take out the airport security before getting to the metal detectors," Oswald explains, "then we wouldn't have to worry about airport security catching us with the parts. But Mickey, being the celebrity he is, drew too much attention to us. It also didn't help that he demanded to wear his patriotic marching band pilot outfit."

A 4 year old child caught the gang in the act when he approached Mickey for an autograph. He cried out "Mommy, Mommy, Mickey's packing heat!" Initially the airport security arrested the child for saying "packing heat" in the airport. After interrogating the child about where he learned that phrase, they ran back out to the excruciatingly long security check point line in time to stop Mickey and his gang. 



"Is my mommy an alien?"



The 4 year old describes the scene from his perspective, "It was scary! All I could see was the back of my mom's leg because that's where I was hiding. She has these really nasty blue and purple lines on her legs. Is my mommy an alien?"

The mother expounds on her son's comments, "He thinks I'm an Alien?! Their just varicose veins! What a moron!"

The security guard that shot Mickey told us, "Yeah that women had some nasty veins popping out of those legs. Why wear shorts if your legs look like something from Avatar? Anyway I had a hard time shooting Mickey considering he was only partly armed and because my kid loves him. However, when you see an animated character with even just part of a gun you're first thought is, 'I wonder if bullets hurt him'. I tested it out and guess what? They do."

BBB and Waldo managed to get away safely through a nearby television set. Mickey was taken to a local hospital in a gray x-ray bin and then to a nearby prison facility. Apparently Mickey and his gang took these extreme measures because the airline doesn't allow animals on their plane.