Thursday April 19th, 2012
Yesterday, Paris Hilton, star of the of the television reality series The Simple Life checked herself into the Beverly Hills Emergency Medical Center.
After a day of meetings with producers, shopping, phone calls with girlfriends, playing with Barbie's, and brushing her hair, she reportedly felt ill.
A brief interview with a source close to Hilton who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity said that she was not used to having so many important tasks to complete in a single day and that she has never really "worked a day in her life".
A call to her agent's office Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was unanswered. We left a message on their voicemail which has as of yet been unreturned. The outgoing message on the voicemail stated "Are you completely without talent? Are you attractive and overly thin? Would you sell your soul to us so that we can sell magazines? Then send us a photo pronto! No Talent? Good Looks? We'll get you booked!
We were able to locate Paris Hilton's current boyfriend, Muscles McMoneybags. His only comment was "Paris who?"
Hilton is now in Rehab after overdosing on that hand cleaner stuff in the hospital rooms which apparently contains alcohol. The Chief of Staff at the facility said that "Getting her back to normal won't take long since her normal level of sobriety is rock bottom for the average person".
For more insignificant celebrity news which is less important than the ant I stepped on when I walked out my front door, please direct your attention anywhere other than the inside of your eyelids.
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| Hilton after finding out that nobody really cares. |
A brief interview with a source close to Hilton who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity said that she was not used to having so many important tasks to complete in a single day and that she has never really "worked a day in her life".
A call to her agent's office Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe was unanswered. We left a message on their voicemail which has as of yet been unreturned. The outgoing message on the voicemail stated "Are you completely without talent? Are you attractive and overly thin? Would you sell your soul to us so that we can sell magazines? Then send us a photo pronto! No Talent? Good Looks? We'll get you booked!
We were able to locate Paris Hilton's current boyfriend, Muscles McMoneybags. His only comment was "Paris who?"
Hilton is now in Rehab after overdosing on that hand cleaner stuff in the hospital rooms which apparently contains alcohol. The Chief of Staff at the facility said that "Getting her back to normal won't take long since her normal level of sobriety is rock bottom for the average person".
For more insignificant celebrity news which is less important than the ant I stepped on when I walked out my front door, please direct your attention anywhere other than the inside of your eyelids.
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